‘Writing Men’ for Female Authors

Today I discovered a trove of ‘writing men’ advice for female authors. This is a nice ‘flip side’ of the story I started a couple of years ago when I pivoted Mike Sierra Echo away from my original idea ‘Cinderellavator.’ Inclusivity is a great idea for everyone – that’s why I was glad to find these points on Reddit. Yes, I was on Reddit – I’ll enjoy the advice I find there while it still exists.

Back to the point – how can female authors ‘write men?’ Is it really that difficult? I wouldn’t have thought so, but I would be wrong. Turns out, there are a million bad authors out there writing terrible male characters. Read *this* advice if you want to learn how to ‘write men’ better. Enjoy!

How Female Authors Can ‘Write Men’

‘Write them as more than build-a-bear mannequins that are designed to fulfill your female characters every fantasy.’ – -BOOST-

‘Base them on someone you know and like. That’s honestly the most bulletproof depiction you can have and can draw back on’  – 6twoRaptor

“My own opinion. Let the male characters do things that you don’t agree with. Men aren’t heros or villians. They are distributed in a spectrum between the two. Everyone acts in accordance with their upbringing and own self interests. So, lean into your character’s background. They may make mistakes but still help granny cross the road on a rainy Tuesday.

“Base them on characteristics from men in your own life or men you know of. If you are female, you might have a tendency to write men in extremes. For example, I myself act very differently in certain contexts than my friend. But, neither of us are extreme in anyway.

“The most difficult part is getting the dialog right. Yes, there is locker room talk when some guys are in groups, but it’s not as bad, mostly, as you think. Nor do we talk about the same things as women. I was a hairstylist for many years, so I’ve spent hours listening to both men an women. There’s a lot of similarities, we approach things differently too. And that shows in dialog.” – Opening-Ad-2769

The Best Advice of All

The best chunk of advice came from AleksandrNevsky:

• Show flawed men trying the best with what they have.
• Create male characters that pass the “greek statue” test, the female equivalent is the lamp/vase test.
• Don’t make them seem simple minded or stupid.
• DON’T make their defining trait “incompetence.” Even total screw ups in real life are people with complex personalities and backstories. I’ve seen too many female written works where too many guys that aren’t the love interest (and sometimes even him) are just there to be incompetent. It’s infuriating and demeaning.
• Give clear and solid motivations for their actions.
• Outwardly men will look unbothered or “holding it together” that is not going to be true of their inner dialog. Even the more stoic among us worry and fear even if some have learned to not show it. Especially if someone is relying on them for something.
• Actions can be as attractive as physical traits. A guy will not only be drawn to a woman because she’s pretty. Keep this in mind with your romantic angle.
• Men can be vulnerable, many just try to hide it to protect themselves.