Stupid business ideas pop into my head – let me tell you about HackUrFit. I was moved to comment – after noticing the Eugene Xfinity store yesterday – ‘oh look, another example of corpo-dystopia has arrived. How nice, good for us!’ Then, I started thinking about it – what if you really *did* have a store devoted to dystopia. What would it look like, what would it sell? Presented here is a business idea I know will suck. I explain why I’m doing this down below. But for now – let’s talk HackUrFit. Ready? Here we go:
HackUrFit
The cyberpunk dystopia apocalypse speeds down on us like a toxic-waste truck. How will you withstand the onerous outcomes and sickening spectacles that surely await? What tools will ensure your survival? What clothes would you wear to signify allegience with the Hypermutant Geneto-Crypto gang as you explore grotesque wastelands in search of stale Voodoo Doughnuts and parts for your biodiesel bugout bakkie?
Those items and more are available at HackUrFit – That’s right, HackUrFit – a Dystopian Emporium run by the Neon Rebellion Collective with the sole purpose of preparing you for the impending dire disasters that surely await us in thirty days or less. C’mon down to the local HackUrFit and connect with other proto-deviants. Lounge in the Cataclysm Coffee Bar where biohazardous baristas construct contaminated, caffienated creations to power your nascent nocturnal junk-collecting junkets.
Learn more about HackUrFit in the sample catalog of items and components:
Stuff We Sell
Art Decals | Desktop | Keychains | Magnets | Patches | Postcards | Statues | Wall Art | Pins | Games Board games | Card Games | RPGs | MMPORGs | Clothing Jackets | Shirts | Pants | Head | Hand | Ties | Electronics & Org  Cable organizers | Music | Computer Hardware | |
Furniture Clocks | Lighting | Tableware | Jewelry Necklaces | Rings | Earrings | Tools Tool Kits | Survival Tools | First Aid Equipment | Travel Hardware | Personal Safety | Biohazard Protection | Hydro Drinkware | Water Bottles | Travel Cups | Water Purification | Hip Flasks |
| And More! | |||
Why You Want to Shop Here
At HackUrFit we embrace all manifestations of the mutated monstrosities of our dystopian cyberpunk apocalypse. We welcome the TechBro Boogeymen, we welcome the Vegan Voltage Villains, we embrace the Rapacious Radges of Ragnarok. Join us – meet a new group, or make one out of the Geeky Gremlins we’ve trapped in the back area over by the utility closet. No obligation, cancel at any time.
No one person is more welcome than you – our apocalyptic assailant with money or bitcoin or credit cards to outfit your Prepper Paladin-mobile. C’mon down to HackUrFit and get ready to upscale your ultimate survival scenario.
Why I’m Writing Down This Stupid Business Idea
Maybe this happens to you, too – ever have an idea you know is going to be terrible, but you can’t get it out of your head? Inventions, business ideas, projects – you know they’re going to suck but you don’t know why and your head just keeps spinning and spinning? The thought stuck in my head like a popcorn kernel in your teeth and as obnoxious and annoying as was, the worst part was I couldn’t get it out. It was making me crazy, I needed to banish these cursed creativity critters back to wherever they belong and focus on writing.
SO …
To alleviate this problem, I’m writing down this stupid business idea so that it elminates the clutter in my head. Here it is – comment or throw rocks as needed. If for some reason this is actually a good idea and I should be paying attention, I’ve posted a Kickstarter preview. Who knows, maybe this is a billion-dollar deal and I should think about running a store instead of writing a novel.
Am I Onto Something or Is this Stupid?
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