Grab a hot drink and settle in – it’s time to talk about why I’m going back to the drawing board with my scifi novel. It’s taken me a few days to get enough emotional distance to talk about this objectively. I killed Cinderellavator as my next novel project so I could let it be reborn as Joyride, the next draft of this middle grade scifi thriller.
Readers of the blog may be tempted to leap to some bad conclusions as I tell this story. Let me be clear – my choices are about being considerate to other perspectives. I am not being censored or cancelled. This isn’t about politics, it’s about people. When your writing coaches and peer group are telling you about some calamity up ahead, you need to be smart and get out of the way.
The Cinderellavator project centered around a twelve-year-old female protagonist from a mixed-race background. My intentions were simple – it’ll be a nice writing challenge to write a story for a protag that’s absolutely not me (see: Creating Art forces you to consider other perspectives) and my scifi writing heroes all went out of their way to be welcoming and inclusive (see: Gene Roddenberry, Ray Bradbury)
But that’s how *I* feel – how do my readers feel about a white, middle-aged, cis guy writing about a twelve-year-old female protagonist from a mixed-race background? The publishing landscape of 2022 seems to feel that this would be both inappropriate, and offensive. Don’t take my word for it, look at the feedback I got from this Reddit thread. Publishing professionals lined up to tell me: ‘this is a bad idea – stop before you can’t turn back.’
Authors Need to Listen
I know some might say ‘hey, don’t let people tell you what to write.’ Some Hollywood heavyweights provided their honest, passionate feedback. “I just have a very violent reaction to the woke telling writers what they’re allowed to write.” They’re absolutely right. Another said “I can’t tell you what to do. All I can say is that speculative fiction is NEVER based on personal experience. If you’re honest to the human condition, then I think that you can’t go wrong. Vet the actual draft with people of color – I did this for one of my scripts and basically what they said is “don’t write it ‘black’ – just write characters.”
I wouldn’t want to take their advice as license to push ahead. The universe was telling me something. The more I listened to other publishing industry professionals, the truth hit me: It’s not about letting people tell you what to write, it’s about listening. “I’d say you do you, do your research and have sensitivity readers take a look at your work,” said Pacificghostwriter. “But being in the industry, it’s also important to listen, and step back when needed.”
What I learned is that I’m looking at the current publishing landscape through a dated lens. “So, I read all of your replies on this thread, and my impression is that you’re stuck in an old version of the diversity conversation,” sweetbirthdaybaby333 explained. “You’re only just now hearing about sensitivity / authenticity readers, which came into common use around 2015-16. Your link from The Root is from 2013 — an eon ago in publishing time. And your answer above that you won’t harm the intended audience because you’re trying to write a 3D character (essentially “I won’t do harm because I mean no harm”) is such a 2015 answer that I swear I heard “Uptown Funk” playing in the background of my house just now. Anyway, this is to say that you’re heading in the right direction, but much as “Uptown Funk” remains a good but dated song, you really need to join the conversation that is happening right now … There’s no one Rosetta Stone resource for all this. It’s just a long-term effort of reading the room, as it were.”
Key advice from key players. I needed to listen, I was looking at the situation through an imperfect lens. Time to step back, realize that I was missing information, and understand some clear truths. I won’t say harsh truths, they were delivered in a clear way. If they were harsh to take, it’s because I wasn’t prepared to receive them, and that’s on me.
But what do I do about this? Write another book and THEN come back to Cinderellavator when I’m established? My writing coach heard me out and then said, in a nutshell: ‘You can do what you want, but if you just blow up everything and start over every time you meet resistance, you’ll die with twenty-five first drafts and nothing finished.’
They were absolutely right. I had to look at Cinderellavator and realize the truth, as revealed below:
Valid, But Not Justified
In stepping back, I had to ask myself what was really important to me. Do I want to write professionally? What do I do when profession meets passion? Am I prepared to sacrifice my dreams of being self-sufficient just so I can say ‘I did the right thing!’? A post in /r/bestof got me thinking, here’s what it had to say:
“There’s a concept in DBT that I really like. All feelings are valid, but not all feelings are justified … [N]ot all feelings should be acted on. As humans, we sometimes experience emotions that aren’t really appropriate for the situation. It’s an important skill to learn to recognize when your emotions aren’t justified, and to not act on them and instead work through them.”
My feelings about a world without prejudice, racism, and hate? Those are perfectly valid. Everyone should want to live in that world. Am I justified, then, in pushing a specific narrative that is *my* perception because I think it might help us get to that world? Well, no. That’s a form of selfishness unto itself, thinking that my words will always be the best words. Here’s another point:
Every Great Story Starts Out as a First Draft
If you think of stories as recipes, you realize that like a great meal, you have to try different ingredients until you find the right combination to make your diners (readers) happy. All great artists are, at heart, scientists – constantly experimenting to make evermore efficient expressions of evocative events. All great narratives are the sum total of that effort.
Re-drafting the story, going back to the drawing board, puts me in some good company. George Lucas’ first drafts of Star Wars: A New Hope had DAI NOGAS battling a sinister rival warrior sect, THE LEGIONS OF LETTOW, on the planet OGANA. Walter Koenig wrote a draft of Star Trek:VI that had the classic crew come out of retirement to save Spock’s new crew, leading to a bloodbath that led to everyone dying except for Spock and McCoy.
So while I thought the Cinderellavator had the right ingredients, my potential readers and peers were telling me: no, NO. I was trying too hard to make a story that wouldn’t land well with readers. I had written a draft, that was all. This story wasn’t put together with the right elements yet. It was a heartbreak, it was painful, my own personal Dark Night of the Soul, but I couldn’t change the truth: they were right. I had to listen. It was time to go back to the drawing board with my scifi novel. In doing this, let’s be clear about one thing:
No, I’m Not Being Discriminated Against
Let me say this again – this isn’t about racism. This is about consideration and balance. This is about saying the right thing at the right time. This is about being willing to let the right voice speak at the right moment. Just as Claudette Colvin willingly took a step back and let Rosa Parks become the voice of the civil rights movement in Birmingham, I have to be humble. You can’t be so entitled to be heard that you refuse to listen to others, to drown out the right voice.
Right now, writers from all backgrounds deserve the right to opportunities denied for centuries. That might mean I have less of an opportunity on some levels, but that’s just part of the game. It’s about balance. It’s about consideration. No, this isn’t about racism, no matter what James Patterson thinks. So, what now?
Back to Drawing Board With My Scifi Novel
I’m already 10K words into the next draft of the novel. I’m pleased so far because beginning again has given me some ideas I didn’t have in the first draft. Yes, the working title is ‘Joyride,’ but there are so many novels with that name that I’m sure it’ll be something else by the time it gets to an agent. Right now it’s important to get a complete story with the right elements together; as for the title, we’ll get there when we get there.
I sincerely appreciate the well-wishers of Imgur and other well-intentioned supporters, including Hollywood heavyweights, who leaned in to provide some love and support. I appreciate the Redditors who took time to give me your honest and professional opinion. You folks are keeping me going and for that you have my profound gratitude.
Time to do some more writing. We’ll see you down the road.
Photo credits: Daria Nepriakhina on Unsplash / Kaleidico on Unsplash
