Oregon Chicken Soup

Oregon Chicken SoupI was talking to a sick friend about chicken soup and his comment was:

‘East Coast chicken soup > West Coast chicken soup.’

I couldn’t let that slide, and inquired politely how many squirrels and raccoons he used in his Southern Chicken Soup. Before we devolved into the Nerd Blue Collar Comedy Tour, I offered him my Oregon Chicken Soup recipe. He loved it, and I’m passing it along for anyone else who wants to cook like a real Oregonian:

Oregon Chicken Soup

  • Bake chicken in pans at 350 degrees F for 20 min or until cooked
  • Attend yoga class; achieve downward dog position while growing man bun
  • Prepare celery, onion, carrot and garlic while chicken is cooking
  • Tell your friends about the ‘artisinal soup’ you’re making on Facebook; bonus points if you live-Tweet it
  • Saute garlic, onions, carrots, and celery in olive oil until onions are translucent
  • Buy bulger from health food, even though you have no idea what bulger is
  • Add water, salt, pepper, bay leaves and kale
  • Refuse to admit you hate kale to avoid being shunned by your neighbors
  • Bring to a boil then reduce to med-high heat and simmer for 20 minute
  • Publish another long political screed to Medium
  • Add chicken and simmer for another 20 minutes.
  • Drink locally-sourced Cabernet from Humboldt County while you wait for your Subaru to be serviced
  • Add cooked egg noodles before serving, keep egg noodles seperate so they don’t get mushy
  • Mock your friend for wearing toe-shoe Vibrams while you wear a pair of Realtree camo Crocs

 

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